Friday, 4 April 2014


There are times when I sit silently in front of my laptop unable to write, unable to deliberate. Sometimes my thoughts just seem so tangled within one another like a variable mass of ideas and believes. I think about one and another follows but then they never seem to make sense when put all together. 

As I look back now and think about the word selfless, I have never seen anybody being selfless to be honest. My mother was selfless but then again all of our mothers are. Besides her I can't recall one single person being selfless. May be I grew up in a selfish society. Come to think of it now, I really think I must have grown up in a selfish society. I think its true because one thing that I have always experienced is when you are constantly surrounded by the same kind of people, attitude, environment and you don't seem to like any of it, all you want to do is make a change and be different. As a kid my idol was Mother Teresa. My mother knew that so she'd get me books on her and I'd seldom read in the library during my school days. 

I remember an incident very clearly. It was one of those jamming days in school. I was in my school's first ever rock band and I was a happy person because I was doing the things that I loved at that time. 
I had this diary I'd carry around. On it I had written a few songs and some guitar chords. I basically wrote down everything I could or felt like besides the songs and the chords. One day some of my class mates were going through my diary, as it could be so easily taken out of my bag. I had gone out for a bit during the recess and came back and found them laughing. I went and asked them "why are you all laughing?" in a very jovial manner as they were my friends and I always felt the need to be included. One of them told me "Kako, your idol is Mother Teresa?" I said yes but asked them "why?" They laughed at me again and told me that I seemed old fashioned.  Let me ask this to you all, it is bad to have an idol like Mother Teresa as a teenager and not some famous actor, singer, player?? Seeing them laugh hurt me more that day because they were my friends and friends are supposed to have each others backs, not go about laughing at each others likes and dislikes...

Today as I have grown up to be what I am it is not only ironical but people think its hard to believe because I am not the person I was surrounded by or grew up with. I am a completely different me. It was long before I noticed it myself when people thought I was kind and hence weak. I don't believe its even just to say that if a person is kind and loves to share the love, he or she is weak from within or is looking for love in return. Now that I look back, I see my self with a kind of innocence that perhaps at that point of time I think was only natural. No child is born selfish, or kind. A baby is just a mass of bones, muscles and blood. They with their fresh mind soak in whatever is being fed. Teach a child to be bad and selfish they will be, teach them to love and share and they will. No body taught me how to be selfless or selfish or how to live my life to be honest. I just gradually grew and found out on my own. My mother used to tell me as kid to love and share but she also warned me to defend my self when there was a need because when people know you are kind to them they automatically feel like you can be taken advantage of. I don't know why but she constantly felt the need to tell me to be strong otherwise the world could break me. Just because I didn't believe her as a child and constantly believed everyone to be just the same as I was, kind, smiling, cheerful, non-judgemental, accepting people the way they were, trustworthy, easy to talk to and always there to help someone in need, I have been broken down on many occasions. So to say I learned it the hard way. It wasn't long when I had found out there were some nasty people in this world who were more selfish then a cat to be honest. And I'm not saying that cats are bad. Yes they seem adorable to many but deep within them it is so clear that they are mysterious and dark. 

Sometimes when I ponder on being selfless I wonder how rich are you really because to me being selfless is a wealth. You are a wealthy person if u have the love and smiles and blessings of many in your heart. The thing you don't have to worry is "will I get the same love in return" because in you heart you are satisfied, you are happy, ever ready to help. Being monetarily rich with no friends and family to love and care for, no people to call you up and talk to, no one to remember you and you remember of, is the last thing that i'd ever want to experience as an old person siting on a mansion of my own, materialistically having all the things I could possibly think of having but no one in this world to share it with. I would't want to adopt a dog just so he'd keep me company beside the fire, during the last cold winter days of my life. I want to be able to hold someone's hand and share what is within me. I want to be able to be sure that I have fulfilled what my heart desired to fulfill and what I wanted to accomplish in this life time (one of them being selfless) just so I could die peacefully without a shadow of doubt.

I saw this video today and it got me so motivated to write. I was literally crying towards the end. It got me so inclined to be selfless all over again. To be completely honest with you right now "YOU" are just a screen in front of me and to you I'd like to write as if nobody is watching. To you I'd like to say that I don't want to change one bit of me because I worked really hard to become what I am today and will go on working hard, whether its likable or not. I only reason with myself on one thing that is will I ever be able to change the heart of somebody today into being a better person? Because I trust that, the joy it will bring, you cannot capture it by a mere camera alone. It can be only captured by your eyes, framed by your heart and kept to cherish forever it in your mind.


  1. THINGS TO BEWARE OF...........

    There are things that Christians and non-Christians alike should beware of....

    1 Timothy 4:1-3 But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, 2 buy means of the hypocrisy of liars seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron, 3 men who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth.


    2 Thessalonians 2:8-9 Then the lawless one....9 that is, the one whose coming is in accord with the activity of Satan, with all power and signs and false wonders,


    Matthew 24:24 For false Christs and false prophets will arise and will show great signs and wonders, so as to mislead, if possible, even the elect.


    2 Corinthians 11:4-14 For if one comes and preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted, you bear this beautifully......13 For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. 14 No wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.


    2 Peter 3:10-17 ......16 as also in all his letters, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand, which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures, to their own destruction. 17 You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, be on your guard so that you are not carried away by the error of unprincipled men and fall from your own steadfastness,


    The best way to avoid error is to know the TRUTH.



    1. Thank you will surely do... Please do follow mine too... Your blog is for a very good cause and I'm also trying to write what i see through my eyes and I know God will be there for us all the way through.. Thank you once again my friend :)